READY TO PUT OUT A HIT ON YOUR BUNNIES? 🥷🐰

Consider us your personal mob for hire dust bunny contract killers. We're rolling in with our 69-Point Signature Protocol to execute the mess and get the f*** out. By the time we leave, they'll be swimmin' with the fishes.

And it goes without saying but you didn't see anything, and we didn't see anything. Snitches get stitches.

Your home shouldn't be a random variable. Tell us what you love, tell us what drives you crazy, and let our elite pit crew handle the rest.

This form takes less than 3 minutes. It ensures that while you’re out for brunch, at work making money, or sitting in a freezing-ass rink in Pownal, we’re turning your home into a 5-star sanctuary.

No 6-hour hostage situations.

No "Willy-Nilly" wipe-downs.

No hidden fees.

And no more dust bunnies.

Just a sparkling homecoming.

— Meredith & Craig
Founders, Suds & Spuds

Section 1: The Logistics

Getting to know each other.

The Legend's Name. *

This is you. You're the legend.

Email *

We don't spam. We hate spam... almost as much as glitter.

Phone *

We're not insane. We'll obviously only text... unless it's a real emergency.

What's your preferred method of communication? *

Text

Phone (a test to see if you're insane... juts kidding. No judgement... sort of.)

Carrier Pigeon (don't select this. Our pigeon permanently flew south. She was tired of all the fake springs. Can't blame her.)

We will (begrudgingly) call if it's actually your preference...

The Coordinates: What is the service address?

The Secret Handshake: How do we get in? *

Entry Instructions: Door code, hidden key, secret knock, or "I'll be there to high-five the team")

The Terrain: How many bedrooms *

Include any office/den/gym to be cleaned to plan the attack for the dry zone.

The Terrain Continued: How many bathrooms? *

Helps plan the attack for the wet zone.

Yep More Terrain: What is the square footage? *

Just an estimate is fine.

Section 2: The Lifestyle

We need to know what we're walking into to make sure we've got the right plan of attack for you.

The Human Squad: How many Adults & Chaos Goblins live there? *

Note: Chaos goblins are humans under 18. Otherwise known as children in some circles.

The Furry Squad: Do you have pets?

No pets

Of course I have pets!

We don't do surcharges. We may leave a treat for them though (but we won't give it to them).

Pet Intel: If you answered yes - Tell us about your furry roommates

e.g. "The Golden Retriever is a door-bolter," or "Just ignore the cat under the bed. He probably hates you anyway."

The "One Thing" (Your Obsession Point): What is the one thing in your home that, when it’s gleaming, makes your nervous system weep with joy? *

(e.g. the stainless steel fridge, the master bathroom tile, the kitchen sink flange... or whatever your heart delights).

The Clean Slate Check-in: How long has it been since your home had a professional clean? *

It’s been professionally cleaned within the last month, but I’m ready to take it to the next level.

It’s been about 3–6 months. The kids are starting to name the dust bunnies and the baseboards have developed a "sweater."

It’s been a while (or never). I’m ready to evict the chaos and finally see silence (yes you can actually see silence... you'll see ;).

No judgment here. We've seen it all.

Section 3: The Hospitality Details

Details matter.

The Scent & Soul: Do you have any allergies or a "no-go" list for specific scents? *

We use local Island scents that smell like peace, not chemicals.

The Permission Slip: Can we take before and after shots for our portfolio? *

Yes! I want to help fuel the Island Engine.

No, I’d prefer my sanctuary stay a top-secret mystery

We promise to keep them anonymous - your privacy is a premium. No hard feelings either way.

The Clean Sheets Confirmation: Fresh sheets for the Master Bedroom come standard in our Anchor Reset - how do you want us to handle yours? *

Yes please! I'll leave out a fresh set of sheets

No thanks. The bed is a "no fly zone"

There’s no feeling quite like sliding into a perfectly clean, fresh sheets at the end of a long day

The Milestone Tracker: What's your birthday?

Don't worry - we won't share it. And we don't need to know the year (the system makes us include the year). Just make it this year if you want and we'll just assume you're a fully functioning grownup. Note: This question is completely optional but you'll miss out on totally awesome birthday stuff if you skip it!

Section 4: The Preferences

Your wish is our command... within reason.

The Payment: How would you like to pay? *

E-transfer

Cash

Stay tuned: to make your life easier "Autopay via credit card on file" option coming soon.

The Schedule: Preferred day of the week/time for your reset (we'll do our best to accommodate) *

e.g. Tuesday mornings or Thursday afternoons

The Tier: What level of service are you looking for?

The Rising Tide: Our most inclusive high-velocity partnership. Includes the Anchor Reset plus laundry service, housekeeping, grocery service and culinary prep to give you back your bandwidth.

The Anchor: Our signature recurring service using the 69-Point Protocol. This is the technical clean and hospitality staging that keeps your home in "Grand Opening" condition.

The Red Dirt: The Full-Scale Homestead Overhaul. A military-grade deep clean reset designed to evict the chaos and the Island grit from your sanctuary.

The Closing: Anything else our Unstoppable Team should know before we evict the dust bunnies? *

Look, we’re boutique, high-end, and obsessed with quality to ensure you never get "clean-ish" results.

The Exemption: What our team won't clean

To protect your high-end media investments and limit liability, Suds & Spuds technicians are strictly prohibited from touching, dusting, or cleaning any television screens, computer monitors, tablets, or delicate home theater electronic displays. Our team will clean the media furniture around these items, but the screens themselves will be bypassed entirely. We appreciate your understanding in helping us keep your premium electronics completely safe.

By checking this box, I agree to receive text messages from Suds & Spuds Cleaning Co. regarding my booking requests, reminders, and occasional exclusive updates. Message frequency varies. Msg & data rates may apply. Reply STOP to opt-out at any time.. Text HELP for assistance, reply STOP to opt out.

By checking this box, I consent to receive emails from Suds & Spuds Cleaning Co. regarding my home resets, schedule updates, and occasional inner-circle strategies to buy back my time. I can unsubscribe at any time.

We protect your personal data fiercely - no spam, no third parties, no exceptions. We’re in the business of recovering your time, not wasting it with junk mail.

Schedule a Reset

(Our decidedly not-boring onboarding form)

READY TO PUT OUT A HIT ON YOUR BUNNIES? 🥷🐰

Section 1: The Logistics

Section 2: The Lifestyle

Section 3: The Hospitality Details

Section 4: The Preferences

The Exemption: What our team won't clean

We protect your personal data fiercely - no spam, no third parties, no exceptions. We’re in the business of recovering your time, not wasting it with junk mail.

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